January 11, 2008
Iron Bureaucracy America
Tonight on Iron Bureaucracy America, the challenger “Washington State DOL” is here in Bureaucracy Stadium to show us their mettle against some of the finest Iron Bureaucracies in all of America.
Will they choose Iron Bureaucracy IRS? Skilled at changing rules at the last minute?
Will they choose Iron Bureaucracy Banking Industry? Skilled at overcharging for the smallest misstep?
Will they choose Iron Bureaucracy United States Social Security Administration? Skilled at complex forms?
Washington State DOL, do you have an Iron Bureaucracy to challenge?
“We choose the United States Social Security Administration!”
The Chairman has a prepared a special challenge for each of you… one that challenges your powers of confusion and underdelivering!
The special challenge for today is…..
Battle Document! Mail out a requested form to Megan Wallent!
Ms. Wallent, what are your form requests for each of our mighty bureaucracies!
“For Iron Bureaucracy SSA, please mail me a new Social Security Card with my new legal name!”
“For Iron Bureaucracy Washington State DOL, please accept my request to get an F instead of an M on my driver’s license and send me a letter!”
Ms. Wallent, please fill out the forms and follow the procedures that each of our bureaucracies has established to achieve your goals.
Iron Bureaucracy SSA, you have lost points from the judges for having a posted procedure on the Internet that can be followed!
Iron Bureaucracy SSA, you have also lost points for having good customer service and making it easy to follow the procedure!
Iron Bureaucracy SSA you have promised a new card in two weeks!
Bureaucracy Challenger DOL, you have promised a letter in ten days!
[Ed. Unlike in Iron Chef, or Iron Chef America, once the challenge is accepted and the request made to the bureaucracies, a large black curtain falls down, and no sound is heard until the result occurs.]
[Ed. In addition, the “Winner” of Iron Bureaucracy America is the bureaucracy that delivers LAST, not first – because otherwise, why would they be a bureaucracy]
[Ed. Time Passes]
Ms. Wallent, do we have a result?
“Yes, we do! I can report that in today’s mail, only nine days, the SSA has overdelivered and I have in my possession a new Social Security Card!”
Ms. Wallent, do you have your letter from the DOL?
“No, I do not, Mr. Chairman!”
The Chairman then declares a winner! The winner of tonight’s challenge on Iron Bureaucracy America – Battle Document – is Washington State DOL!