January 23, 2008
What Was Up with Your Crazy Outfit on the Last Video?
Ok, lots of people asked about what I was wearing, and gave feedback on how I kind of looked like crap (my words, not theirs) in the video on Sunday night.
Here’s the deal… those were my running clothes. I hadn’t taken a shower (hair issues), and I hadn’t changed. I was also wearing my running watch.
I did mention that I was somewhat disappointed that I didn’t *pass* more often. I wasn’t referring to *that video*.
This whole “Passing” thing is not only hard, but it’s a series of pretty significant tradeoffs. For me, obviously, I’m certainly not trying to hide my past, and in fact, I’m trying to embrace it.
As a result, I’ve intentionally decided that there are at least three things from my past that I’m not willing to change on this adventure. Call me crazy, FFS is okey dokey, but the following things, not okey dokey.
Wedding Ring: My wedding ring is very special to me. As I’ve said, Anh is my partner till we are dust. I very fondly remember our wedding day. It was an amazing day, and a great party. My wedding ring is made out of titanium, symbolizing both strength and persistence, but also because I’m a pilot, and planes are made of titanium. After my first surgery, Anh got me an additional diamond band that I wear outside/stacked with my wedding ring. I love it. A lot. Getting a new wedding ring would seem not right. I love that day, love the ring, and most of all love Anh.
Watch: I mostly wear a watch that my parents gave me as a college graduation present. Its not huge, but its not feminine either. I got another watch from Anh as a wedding present that’s bigger and more masculine that I haven’t really worn yet, but I do plan to wear it when I fly (it’s a pilot watch). When I run or hike, I wear an inexpensive digital plastic watch. I don’t plan on getting a new watch….
Voice: Some TG folks either do voice training or even some attempt surgery on their vocal cords to change the pitch of their voices. I *could* do this, but I choose not to. I like my voice… I’m not interested in changing it.
Fundamentally, I realize that I’m in neither camp right now… I’m not in a checky box… I’m in the whitespace between them.
It is what it is…