February 28, 2008

Bloggable Moments

Posted in Identification, transgender at 10:28 pm by Michael

Unfortunately, I have to report that I need to increment the Crappy Look Counter to 8.

I hesitate to even call it a “Crappy Look”, but its worth noting, but not in the normal snide tone of that particular page (remember the rule – “No Hatin’ on the Main Blog”).

Anyway, I picked up John and Peri at school (after school actually). John was at after-school art. I went in to get him, and these two little girls, probably no more than eight were looking at me, whispering in each other’s ears and giggling. As I walked to get John, they sort of “backwards followed me”, and continued the process. I smiled at them, and said “Hi”, and you would have thought that it was the funniest thing ever – they both burst out laughing.

Now, I’m not surprised. I actually expected more of this – especially from the kids. John and Peri both just call me “Daddy”, and yeah, that’s a little out of the norm. There was another Mom there, standing right next to me, watching the whole thing, but she was super cool – just smiling, and commented to me how hard it was to collect your kids from art (a bunch of K through 3 rd grade kids are pretty active!)

I will not call it an official “Crappy Look”, but a “Giggly Look” – but the counter still increments.

Later in the evening, I needed to stop to get gas. I stopped near where we live, and there was an obviously drunk, apparently homeless dude who was loudly asking anyone in the area for some money for his next dose of Mad Dog. I was ignoring him, but to no avail. He yells over to me:



“Oh Miss!”


Now he’s right next to my car, just as loud as ever. He then says:

“Do you have anything for me? Just some change?”

I said: “I’m sorry no.”

He said: “Oh, I can’t even get a pretty smile?”

I looked back at him, and with more of half smile said again that I could not, and he was off, skipping drunkily into the night, singing all the way.

On my way back from dropping off Peri and John, I stopped at a mini-mart to grab a diet coke. Its one of the few remaining non-franchise mini-marts w/o a gas station. There was just one guy working in there – he was in his early 20’s (very), overweight, and heavily tattooed (arms, neck).

I got my soda, and walked over to pay. $1.84, I give him two, and get the change back. As he’s giving me my change back he says:

“That’s a nice car you are driving.”

I said “Thanks.” And turned and walked away.

Now, my car’s not that nice. Guys DO compliment each other on their cars, but it’s usually “Wow, cool car!”, or “What’s it got in it?” or “How fast have you gone?”

I was more fascinated by the tone in which he said it, which was a little Rico Suave, but also the sentence construction. Maybe I’m imagining it, but it seemed out of the male/male  gender norm and much more like a male/female interacton.

So, to sum up, at the end of my day, I got read and giggled at by two eight year old girls, told I was pretty by a drunk guy, and then well, then something w/the convenience store clerk.



  1. Kris said,

    Wow… Between the drunk guy and Rico Suave, I now feel like I need a shower. And $1.84 for a Diet Coke? At most, they cost $1.10 here. Just another wonderful perk to living in Arkansas…

    Just remember that you ARE beautiful.


  2. Rebecca Bryan said,

    Sounds like a fairly average day.

    Being sirred when you are standing in front of someone when you are wearing a skirt, and have obvious breasts, is a little surreal. I’ve heard from many women that they sometimes get called Sir. Ignore it, let it wash over you. Being upset by it doesn’t help. If they meant to hurt you then they achieved their goal if you react. I used to correct people a lot, I don’t bother now. It happens far less often now too.

    I can see why you keep a crappy look count, but frankly it doesn’t matter what other people say does it. It’s their problem not yours. As long as they don’t matter to you – ignore them.

    The last time I got read and laughed at in public it was a young girl that read me. Most adults don’t notice, or if they do then they don’t care. I they do notice – so what, you’re not going to apologise for who you are. Their problem.

    Keeping a crappy look count will help you track it – seeing it going down is nice – but has the potential of reminding you that you still get odd looks. Maybe better to just ignore it.

    Hey don’t forget that sometimes people are just looking at you to check you out, the homeless guy thought you were cute after all ;-). Being checked out by guys rather freaked me out at first – they are just so obvious, women know all about this – we have to learn.


  3. Leslie Evans said,

    Welcome to our world, Megan, where you’ll be asked to smile by men when you really don’t want to. Sounds like you handled the drunk guy with aplomb, or even good humor. Me? “How ’bout a smile?” makes me want to sock a guy in the jaw. Women never say it to each other, and men never say it to men. It’s a guy on girl thing that always strikes me as a need to assert dominance.

  4. Heather said,

    I find it interesting that you keep a “crappy look counter”. I gave up on even paying attention to them long ago but I know what you mean. All I do is smile and go about my business. Keep your chin high and the world will not mind….

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