February 8, 2008

Gay Marriage

Posted in transgender at 11:06 pm by Michael

Over the past few weeks this has started to be in the news again.

I’ve really tried so far to avoid “controversial” issues in this space, other than the clear fact that I’m a transgendered person who lives a very “out” life. I thought that would be enough, but I need to speak up.

Let me start with a few premises:
– The United States Constitution clearly dictates that a clear separation of church and state is not just a good idea, not just the law, it’s a constitutional issue. It’s bedrock. What this means to me is that we don’t/shouldn’t have laws based on what any religion might find proper or not.
– The essence of marriage is that two people have decided to be together, and be dependent on each other. This is pro-society. Society benefits when groups of people can depend on each other, support each other, and be there for each other through thick and thin.
– Being gay or being transgendered is not a choice. Its biology.

I completely support the freedom of religion (or from religion). What this means to me at least is that people should be free to chose to practice any religion that they see fit. What this also means is that people should be as free as possible from rules imposed based not on core moral issues, but based on religious ideology.

For example, there are some religions that call for the death of a woman who commits adultery or pre-marital sex (but those same religions don’t call for the death of men who do the same things). I do not think that this should be allowed. Clearly, the Constitution guarantees the freedom of “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”.

From my POV, personal behavior that doesn’t impact others isn’t in the domain of issues that should be regulated. I’m a libertarian.

For example, does anyone care if I have an F or an M on my license? Who is impacted by this? Anyone but me? I don’t think so.

Any two people can live together. In fact, any number of people can live together.

If those people then say to each other “I am with you forever”, is that then all of a sudden wrong?


Who does that effect, except for the people in that relationship?

Note that Anh and I are still legally married. Is this a gay marriage? Is this a “regular” marriage? Who cares?

I love Anh. She loves me. We’ve got Samwich, and we love him dearly. He’s an amazing kid. Anh is an awesome stepmom to Peri and John. They are awesome.

My favorite bumper sticker recently says the following:

“If you aren’t in favor of Gay Marriage, don’t have one!”



  1. Cristof said,

    Great article; well stated. I haven’t seen the term “pro society” before, but will certainly use that in a college paper I’m writing on the subject (if you don’t mind).

  2. Stephanie said,

    Hi Megan!

    You touched on the point that I tend to mention whenever someone brings up this topic – the separation of church and state. Unfortunately, like you said, this basic constitutional tenet is not adhered to, nor do I think it ever truly was.

    In regards to same-sex marriage, there are two separate and distinct concepts that tend to be lumped together here in the US: the religious/spiritual concept of marriage, and the societal/legal aspect.

    The spiritual side of marriage is the uniting of two people under the auspices of a higher power (perhaps even the FSM). Some churches not only allow, but promote same sex marriage. Who is the government to say that one religion is “right” and one is “wrong”? In fact, it is not the place of government (as you mentioned, under the nations highest law – the constitution), to involve itself in any way with religion. In fact, one could argue that the government saying that same-sex marriage is illegal could amount to religious persecution – exactly what the framers were trying to avoid.

    The societal/legal aspect of marriage is the area with which government SHOULD involve itself. However, when you remove the moral/religious arguments against same-sex marriage, you have absoutely no reasoning to disallow it. In fact, as you mentioned:

    This is pro-society. Society benefits when groups of people can depend on each other, support each other, and be there for each other through thick and thin.

    If our society could get their heads around this very simple concept, there would be no battle. Unfortunately, we are being held hostage by the religious right, who thinks that christianity is/should be the basis of our country, despite the separation of church and state. They have forgotten that this was the primary reason this country was originally founded.

    Sorry, I’ll get off my soapbox now 🙂


  3. Kris said,

    I must agree with Stephanie.

    I know that my own father and I have had this very argument and it’s ridiculous. He’s compared it to polygamy, which, in my opinion, nothing wrong with that if it’s your thing and all adults are consenting, then who is it bothering?

    Keeping in mind that this is the same man who has told me straight out that atheists aren’t really married because they don’t believe in god. I then told my father that I guess I would never be married, according to his definition of marriage.

    These are the people who are keeping us as a people from moving ahead in society with their backward way of thinking. I know here in Arkansas that most of it is simply the way that people have been brought up, but this is not excusing the fact that this way of thinking is flat out wrong. I managed to overcome my close mindedness and become the equal rights activist that I am today, much to my father’s disapproval. It’s not right to keep a group of people down simply because they are perceived as different. Rather, if people could look at the bigger picture, they would see that we’re all the same, we all have families and we all have a person that we love.

    Stupid people will never stop amazing me. Or angering me. Which, thankfully, keeps me going. I will now get off MY soapbox. 🙂

  4. Marc said,

    As of today, arguing about gay marriage is finally a moot point in the US 🙂

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